This afternoon as I went to re-fill my tea, I looked out the window and saw a little songbird sitting on the sidewalk. Sorry Mom — tried, really tried, to find a picture so I could accurately name the species…but I fail. Now for some people, this wouldn’t mean much, but of course, I stood there watching it for a minute. Was it breathing? Were either of the wings drooping? Were its eyes open? I noticed a few feathers on one of our picture windows and my first reaction was to walk out and pick up the bird. Cup my hands around it, perched in one palm, its head resting in my thumb loop, like I’ve done it for years. This is when it hit me — I have done this for years. While anyone who saw me probably thought I was crazy, I knew that all the bird needed was to warm up and a chance to gather itself a little. So without thinking I held the helpless little thing for a few minutes, stood in the sun, enjoyed a little fresh air and walked it over to the hedge where they all live. I opened my hands and off it went.
It was an endearing moment with nature to break up the monotony of each day inside my office — and especially on a sunny day I’ll never turn down a chance to run outside, but the bigger thing here is the nuances ingrained in each of us by our families. I specifically say families here because each member contributes something — there are small things I say and do each day without ever giving it a second thought. If I take a moment to stop and think about it — I can name the person I am acting JUST like. Birds will always be one of those things for me — I’ll never see an eagle soar overhead, or hear a loon’s song without smiling and thinking of my mom. For as long as I can remember, we’ve been listening to and looking at birds all around us. From kitchen windows, binoculars, car sun roofs, boats, boardwalks, the list goes on.
For awhile, I got so into it that I wanted to be an ornithologist. Looking back, I think I liked the sound of the name, so official and intense, more than the actual job. But I decided I liked birds, and therefore, that summer my mom decided it was time for me to work with birds. (Keep in mind that I was 11) She found a local bird treatment center, where they not only rescue birds but do some ground-breaking treatment and rehabilitation work and public education. And we are not talking sparrows and chickadees here, but eagles, owls, eiders. With dedication unrivaled, she found a way to let them allow me to work at the center. Most of my shifts were in the nursery (hello heaven, fluffy baby birds to play with!) and cleaning, but I was able to watch a few eagle surgeries, feed a blind owl, and clean oil off of sea eiders caught in the oil spill.
The whole point of this story is that for as crazy and large as my family is, the chaos, the drama, the mis-communications that blow up every tiny story into something completely different in four hours flat. For as much as I complain, sigh, and snap at them in annoyance, I am a lucky. I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about family — as you all know, its a big part of why I moved up here. I enjoy my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my grandma, and my little sister. Being around them more often and being involved in their lives is nice. The twins are here from Washington, Bren is here from Homer, Joe was just here from Florida, Kyle and Megan are coming up in a few weeks from Washington. While its a bit chaotic trying to manage a normal life in a house packed with so many people at so many ages, it reminds me that no matter how far apart we all are a majority of the time — every time we are together again the fun never stops and only more memories are made.
I’ll never take it for granted that I am one of the lucky ones. In my years working with kids — I can see what a difference the immediate family you grow up with makes. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with parents who also have placed a value in me from the beginning, they waited for us, they wanted us, and we knew it. For as long as I can remember, they have been answering endless questions with un-explicable patience, and encouraging the natural curiosity and exploration of children while offering explanations for the world around me.
When I think beyond my parents — I feel like I have two families, my Alaska family and my family. Without either one, there’s no chance I’d be the same person I am today. I enjoy the history and the variety of my Alaska family, all of the lessons learned during the summers here, the freedom to explore who I am in various situations, and the learned ability to survive anywhere, with anyone, under even the more dire circumstances for just as long as I have to. But my family — my brothers and my mom are the ones who I feel have truly helped me to become the person I am today. While my brothers support me, and will always be there to help, they definitely keep me in line and hold me accountable. While I don’t always like it — it’s an extremely important part of growing up. This is why I can’t believe it when my friends who are only children are well-adjusted (and why I just smile when I see that sometimes, they aren’t).
And through it all — from day one — there has always been my mom. While I find myself sighing impatiently when she calls to talk, or may roll my eyes when she fills my room, and then my apartment, with amazing finds from anywhere and everywhere, I owe it all to her. I’m so sad for my friends who don’t enjoy their Mom’s — we have a great time together. Our relationship is not limited by only girly things (in fact, I denied her those girly things for so many years, I try to make up for it now) or only to family dinners and events — we can enjoy each other in so many different places. Shopping, eating at new restaurants, cooking our own dinners, cigars in Mexico (see below), sipping champagne, crazy road trips, opera nights, walks in the park, working hard on some crazy project she dreamed up , or just doing absolutely nothing.
So cheers to you mum — while I know we’ve been a lot of work, the boys and I all appreciate it. We’ve driven you crazy (sometimes on purpose), we’ve gotten into plenty of trouble, denied you much needed sleep, complained through all of the lessons — and through it all, you’ve loved us unconditionally, kept us in line, helped us to explore ourselves, taught us everything (and much more) we needed to know, given us everything we’ve ever needed and plenty of what we’ve wanted. You’ve given us all of you — and its always been more than enough.
PS: Happy Birthday Week!
